Author Topic: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?  (Read 4461 times)

Katrina

What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« on: June 02, 2011, 12:34:26 PM »
Other than dying alone and no one coming to my funeral..here is another one I came up with.

I was just thinking the other day...if/when I do ever get married I would have no one but family and my best friend to invite. Weird. I usually keep the fact that I'm a loner a secret from everyone I know, only my immediate family is fully aware of how friendless I am. I mean I don't lie about having friends but I just just avoid the topic of friends all together. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing something as public as a wedding and letting the whole world know. Yea I know I stress too much about stupid things. I probably won't ever get married anyway. Just a thought.


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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2011, 04:25:40 PM »
Dying alone. Growing old and have no one to ever talk to, no one to spend hollidays with, my sister and brothers will grow up and get married, and we will drift appart, my parents will get ill and die, I will have no family. I shouldn't care about being totally alone since I am a loner, but still I like to know that there is people who loves me. If I become ill, no one to take care of me, if I have problems, no one to help me. But I guess it's all part of it.
When I was younger, people would give me a chance, you can still make friends when you are young, but as you grow older, your peculiarities become excentricities, people has their own life, their own lifelong friends, familly, they don't need new friens, if I don't make friends now, I will never have them. Is not that I need them that much now, but if I don't make some now I won't have them when I need them. I am so selfish.
I don't think you should worry about not inviting too many people to your wedding, I think it's normal to invite only family and one or two close friends, unless you have a massive wedding, and if you get married to someone you love you would be too happy to worry about those things, wouldn't you?

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2011, 08:48:39 PM »
Nothing to fear about the future because i'll either die young or live old enough to support my life with inheritance money (and pensions, maybe), then once ive become too weak to take care myself i could hire a nanny to take care of me & the cats (and tell me stories, cos by that time i might also be too weak to type on keyboard and talk to you guys xD). If ill be dying alone then so be it (it's better when nobody bothers me when im sick, i think maybe the same way with dying times?), everybody will die alone in the end, loners and non loners :)

and im not worried at all if oneday people wont be coming to my funeral, like when they come that would cheer me up below the ground? lolol

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2011, 11:01:37 PM »
Being used as currency in a prison cell.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2011, 04:00:27 AM »
^hehehe........  Well I can't say I'm afraid of being old and dying alone.  I'm more afraid of dying young and leaving my parents and family to grieve me - I don't think my mum would handle it very well.  From illness or a car accident, etc.  If I make it to being old, I'll worry about it then.  Like Sol said, I'll just hire some home help and be a grumpy old person, bossing them about.  Hahaha...  And have loads of pets.

I certainly don't care how many people come to my funeral, lol.  That would be a somewhat trifling concern once you're dead.  And if I ever get married (which by now I've pretty much decided isn't on the cards for me, and I'm totally okay with that) I'd elope or have a registry wedding.  I couldn't stand wasting all that money on one day...  Nope, don't call me a hopeless romantic!  I don't care if I never have children or a family.  I've pretty much accepted this not happening, either.  Better than being a desperate woman trying to hunt down a husband and feeling like her clock is ticking and all that...

My life is entirely my own to live.  Maybe I will end up very, very alone one day from these sorts of unusual decisions.  I guess that's the only thing I'm slightly afraid of.  But otherwise, life is good!
“Many homicidal lunatics are very quiet, unassuming people. Delightful fellows.”  Agatha Christie

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2011, 08:54:56 AM »
My ideal wedding would be flying to Las Vegas on a Friday and getting married that weekend without telling anyone.

I don't like the idea of big weddings with lots of people invited. They seem too show-offy for my tastes. It's our special day and I wouldn't want to have to share it with family members or bog it down with months of pre-planning for a single-day event that I could've purchased a car with. If I loved someone, proposed, and they accepted, I'd want to get married later that same week. Not six months in the future.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2011, 09:46:31 AM »
Like Vox I'd prefer a registry wedding too, but I come from a family who believes in things like weddings with loads of guests and stuff, my parents definitely wouldn't want me to get married in secret or have a registry wedding..and I don't want to disappoint them. My mom goes to her friend's kids' weddings all the time and I know she wants one for me ..Sometimes I feel bad I'm the only daughter my parents have and I'm such a freak.

When I was younger, people would give me a chance, you can still make friends when you are young, but as you grow older, your peculiarities become excentricities, people has their own life, their own lifelong friends, familly, they don't need new friens, if I don't make friends now, I will never have them. Is not that I need them that much now, but if I don't make some now I won't have them when I need them. I am so selfish.


Totally agree with you Noether! I'm only slightly younger to you and its definitely not easy to make friends after college, every one has their circle till then and there is no space in it for us. Not like I've come across a whole bunch of people whose circle I'd like to be a part of anyway..but a few good friends would've been nice. Being old and alone is going to suck big time. Oh well..I'm going to try and live in the present for now, I won't be old until at least another 20 years, sometimes my mind just goes digging for new things to worry about. I annoy myself.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2011, 10:36:19 AM »
if in the future, living and dying alone with no one even to visit me during my last years. Epic. But i have bunch of nephews and nieces, wouldn't they come to visit?

My current fears are social interactions. Mostly talking to girls, I'll look the ceiling, the floor, the wall, scratch my head and everything else.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2011, 11:07:44 AM »
.............
.. Mostly talking to girls, I'll look the ceiling, the floor, the wall, scratch my head and everything else.

-Auron are you crying too ?
-No ....i am just........fading away.......

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2011, 02:23:55 PM »
My ideal wedding would be flying to Las Vegas on a Friday and getting married that weekend without telling anyone.

I don't like the idea of big weddings with lots of people invited. They seem too show-offy for my tastes. It's our special day and I wouldn't want to have to share it with family members or bog it down with months of pre-planning for a single-day event that I could've purchased a car with. If I loved someone, proposed, and they accepted, I'd want to get married later that same week. Not six months in the future.

Yup, i agree about big wedding seem to show off (sadly it's become a tradition too in my place that wedding is a chance to show off), to me there's nothing sacred and romantic in a 'flashy' wedding with the bride and groom sit on podium as king & queen for a day while being watched by hundreds to thousands of guests. But i do want some family attend my wedding (IF i do get married oneday), not just registry wedding, because they're important to me (and it's also important for them to witness a big day of my life). A small private wedding in a truly special place for the couple (like in a museum, park, or somewhere in Vegas?) would be more meaningful rather than if it's held in big hall like most people do. It's already depressing to imagine from the preparation of a fancy wedding itself until a long exhausting ceremony with all the attention directly aimed on the bride and groom.

A complicated wedding preparation and ceremony could be a pleasant chance for anyone who likes being around friends, get recognitions, becoming a celebrity for a day, and things like that, but definitely not for people like us.. i think a wedding with less to no guests coming (except a few family) is even better.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2011, 07:35:50 PM »
I don't know, I think I've already lived with all my fears. I already know that I won't get to live a long life, since nobody loves me and I read a psychology book that said "we can't survive for very long unless we hear someone say I love you." I'll probably get diabetes and/or cancer while I'm young, or a heart attack at age 30.

My greatest fears are trying to enter a restaurant or fast food chain and being insulted by the cashiers there.  it happens all the time, especially in Jollibees and McDonalds' and KFCs. Only to me though. They laugh and smile while talking to other people but when they start talking to me they have this tired, annoyed, lets-get-this-thing-out-of-the-way look on their face. And people who sit all day long in cafeterias so that if I try to sit there, they'll immediately leave. And the insults that I receive from the house by the maids. Lots of things. My life sucks so bad I can't even type them all.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2011, 07:51:55 PM »
Shouldn't worry about the cashier thing. They do it to everyone. Absolutley everyone. Mostly. But if it really gets to you, just console yourself with the fact that they're earning minumum wage in a McJob. And them mateys that sit all day in a cafeteria? Forget about them. Like, do you really want to hang out with them? They proberbly just killing time. They see you coming to sit down to eat your lunch, they're just moving to give you some space, innit? If these are the things that trouble you, you can't be doing all that bad.

Also, you have housemaids? Man, that must really be awful...!

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2011, 08:54:14 PM »
Yeah I'm not doing so bad I guess... except for the friendless loser part.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2011, 08:57:00 PM »
There you go mate, things are looking up already.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2011, 01:53:06 PM »
My greatest fears are trying to enter a restaurant or fast food chain and being insulted by the cashiers there.  it happens all the time, especially in Jollibees and McDonalds' and KFCs. Only to me though. They laugh and smile while talking to other people but when they start talking to me they have this tired, annoyed, lets-get-this-thing-out-of-the-way look on their face. And people who sit all day long in cafeterias so that if I try to sit there, they'll immediately leave. And the insults that I receive from the house by the maids. Lots of things. My life sucks so bad I can't even type them all.

Hey FarmGiraffe! About all that you said above....are you effing kidding me? I don't mean to be rude by saying that...I just mean that how can cashiers be rude to you...if they are, go complain to their freakin' manager and get them fired from them lousy job. They aren't supposed to treat customers like that. Anyway, I'm in Canada and the whole us being polite thing is not really just a stereotype..its really true. I hear & say TOO many please/thankyous on a daily basis and haven't come across any rude customer service people. Also, people leaving the cafeteria because of you..that could just be in your head. I mean how can you know that some strangers left because of you? As for the housemaids...ummm, dude, they work for you right? Fire their asses if they insult you! Its always best to have a 'take shit from no one' attitude, if you feel anyone is being condescending or insulting...stand up for yourself, they have no right to do it.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #15 on: June 21, 2011, 02:55:44 PM »
The cashiers insult me in a clandestine way. They don't directly tell me to get out of the restaurant. They give a mean stare here, a few whispers to someone else there, a big frown and an annoyed look on their face, they treat the other customers better, I mean, it's not easy to prove anything they do.

Well granted, it could just be in my head, it could not be. How come none of my blockmates in college and classmates in high school ever talked to me? And how come no one ever sits in the same row as me in a bus? Unless they have no choice. No one sits next to me at work either. They don't explain why, they just do it.

No, the housemaids work for my dad. They don't insult my dad, that's for sure. They only gang up on me when my dad isn't around. I don't really have enough money to hire maids of my own.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #16 on: June 21, 2011, 03:09:18 PM »
^Hmmmm I see, I guess these people are just judging you by your appearance. There have been times when I don't sit next to a guy on a bus and skip the seat next to him because he looks like a creep/weird or just has 'that look' about him. I guess its unfortunate if people judge you because you look a certain way but the sad truth is that everyone does it. As far as you can tell, do you look particularly different than others around you? (hobo-esque clothing, strange coloured hair...dangerous looking tattoos?)

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #17 on: June 21, 2011, 03:15:28 PM »
I seem to make people feel uncomfortable or something like that. I don't really have any tatoos, and I wear regular civilian clothes.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #18 on: June 21, 2011, 03:23:07 PM »
'regular civilian clothes'? Sounds like you're trying to blend in after an assasination... heh
Maybe the mop jockeys and burger flippers are staring at you because you are watching them, waiting for their pointed looks and accusing fingers?
Maybe just try eating in Subway instead.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #19 on: June 21, 2011, 03:31:05 PM »
I already know that I won't get to live a long life, since nobody loves me and I read a psychology book that said "we can't survive for very long unless we hear someone say I love you." I'll probably get diabetes and/or cancer while I'm young, or a heart attack at age 30.

Good to know you put so much faith in junk science.  Your pessimistic attitude will put you in the grave faster than lack of adoration from others - now that has been documented.

Quote
Well granted, it could just be in my head, it could not be.

It probably is.   

 
Quote
How come none of my blockmates in college and classmates in high school ever talked to me? And how come no one ever sits in the same row as me in a bus? Unless they have no choice. No one sits next to me at work either. They don't explain why, they just do it.

Probably the same reason why people do it to me,  but it's a reason that neither of us will ever know, so there's no sense in ruminating.
Did you ever talk to these classmates?  Why do these instances bother you so much?



To kill one man is a sin.  To kill an elephant is to kill seven men.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #20 on: June 21, 2011, 04:04:03 PM »
I seem to make people feel uncomfortable or something like that. I don't really have any tatoos, and I wear regular civilian clothes.

FarmGiraffe, I think you're really just being hyper-sensitive.  Cashiers have to serve hundreds of people everyday, they probably don't even notice one person from the next after awhile.  Try letting your guard down a bit - you seem to be suspicious of everybody.  I'm sure people don't dislike you as much as you think they do.  As you said, you act/dress/behave normally.
“Many homicidal lunatics are very quiet, unassuming people. Delightful fellows.”  Agatha Christie

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #21 on: June 21, 2011, 04:31:53 PM »
Yeah, I'm pessimistic. I guess that IS a problem, on account of how my life isn't so bad currently, but there are still many problems and issues I'm dealing with, which are really affecting my mood. I just need more time to think things through, I suppose.

It's not really in my head, many people have said that they just can't talk to me, I'm virtually unapproachable. Some say I make them feel shy or something or feel awkward or something.

Yes, I talked to my classmates. They responded, but not before I approached them first. It bothers me because I am looking for acknowledgment and love and acceptance and a sense of belonging, but I can't seem to find those anywhere.

Yeah I might be a tad bit paranoid/suspicious of everybody. I guess not all the cashiers are mean to me, just in many places, but not all. There is one KFC in particular that has cashiers that seem to like me.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #22 on: June 21, 2011, 04:39:50 PM »

It's not really in my head, many people have said that they just can't talk to me, I'm virtually unapproachable. Some say I make them feel shy or something or feel awkward or something.


Ok, I don't mean this is in a mean way...just being honest, but even over the internet you always come across as a very bitter and pessimistic person and not many people want to associate with that. I'm not a ball of joy myself and definitely have my down days when I sound like a depressive person who has lost all hope in life but that's just on SOME days, other days I'm fairly happy. If you're really sick of not being accepted and long to be loved then maybe its time to make some changes, try to be happier, more positive, talk about what you're passionate about...so people can see the fun side to you instead of the sad one. I know you can't change yourself at the snap of a finger, maybe it'll take time...but work on it?

FarmGiraffe

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #23 on: June 21, 2011, 04:51:54 PM »
True. I almost never smile in real life really. I'm generally bitter because my life sucks among other things. But I'll do my best to be more optimistic.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #24 on: June 21, 2011, 05:07:10 PM »
^Glad to hear that! :-) I know the prospect of being alone forever is pretty scary for most of us, it makes us bitter, sad, scared, angry.... but once you're a loner you have to accept that it is what it is....there is no magical way of having that life you always wanted, to have a perfect group of friends, the best gf/bf, to be popular and loved...in the end the only way you can be happy is if you make peace with your situation and stop feeling so bad about it...stop over thinking it and don't make it the focus of your life. I feel as bad as you do sometimes and this is what I tell myself....to just get over it and focus on other stuff. Easier said than done but all we can do is give it a shot.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #25 on: June 21, 2011, 06:58:26 PM »
I'm generally bitter because my life sucks among other things.

I'm guessing you're not strapped into a hospital bed, plugged into a machine that moniters how alive you are. You're spending a lot of time in fast food resturants, so I guess you have money to spend on food that isn't rice and beans dropped from a UN helicopter, and you're not huddled in a dingy basement while there is a bombing campaign raining about your head. And (I can't get over this one little detail) you have housemaids.

You got it better then most, you know? Enjoy it mate

LoneBookworm

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #26 on: July 16, 2011, 12:21:47 AM »
Surprisingly, I'm not concerned about not getting married or dying alone.  I don't need a partner and I'd be content to spend my last day on earth by myself.

I'm worried about finding a job.  Being around people for an extended amount of time makes me miserable, but in today's world, most jobs involve a lot of interaction.  I know that when I graduate high school and college, I'm going to have to suck it up and deal with it, but I get pretty freaked out whenever the thought crosses my mind.
I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. –Henry David Thoreau, Walden

EdgeCrusher

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #27 on: August 18, 2011, 07:59:26 AM »
getting old and having never experienced a relationship, love, and sex. to be honest it scares the hell out of me.
I'd rather have a mind open with wonder, than one closed with belief.
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sky

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #28 on: August 19, 2011, 01:24:51 PM »
Never being in a date or dying alone aren't scare me at all. My biggest fear about being a loner is when I have to be socialized in some situations. Like job interviews, groups for working/studying.
Another one is when people ask me why i'm lonely. The fear isn't coming from that question. I feel terrible because when anyone ask something like that I just wanna kill him/her, but not literally of course.

uglygirl

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #29 on: September 06, 2011, 06:44:14 AM »
biggest fears

that i will die alone
that no one will ever love me
that i won't ever make any friends

isimplydontknow

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #30 on: October 05, 2011, 09:09:51 PM »
Feeling alone/lonely, having to a sucky job, living in a city and not in the wilderness. Basically settling for things that I don't want at all.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #31 on: October 12, 2011, 06:57:42 AM »
I guess that being stuck in my routine for the rest of my life is what I'm afraid of. Always doing the same things, never going out or trying anything new, because there's I have no reason to.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #32 on: October 12, 2011, 10:55:39 PM »
After reading an experience from someone here, my biggest fear has become loose touch with reality and become crazy, or do crazy stuff. Or maybe just become a bitter bitch. I am afraid I might have it in me.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #33 on: October 13, 2011, 06:17:55 PM »
^Wow, losing touch with reality and becoming crazy seems pretty scary too. Much scarier than dying alone, I mean dying alone...you're dying so even if you're grieving about the fact that you're alone...you can still be a little happy that soon you will die and all this will end.

I take back my fears of no one coming to my funeral and to my wedding. The funeral thing is seriously pointless, it makes me laugh now, I won't even be alive to be depressed over no one coming to my funeral..so really wtf? As for the wedding, I suppose the guy will know I'm a loner and have no guests to invite other that my family,my best friend and maybe a couple other acquaintances/semi-friends I chill with at the time. So yea I don't think I should care about not having any friends at my wedding and seeming like a loser or whatever, the fact that I would have found someone to get married to should probably make up for that.

I think my biggest fear is growing old alone and never having a family of my own + not being able to have a decent career and being poor, so yea basically being someone who is considered an epic failure in today's society. Like Noether mentioned in her first post on this thread, our parents will die, siblings will drift apart and soon we will be like 50 something and all alone. A lot of young single people lead very independent lives that mostly revolve around themselves and their friends, so being a loner at this age isn't nearly as bad as its going to be when we get old. That's when the focus of most people's lives is their own family. I think it will be very depressing to see a family with grown up kids in some place like a restaurant and me sitting there all by myself at the age of say around 52. My parents kind of foresee this so they tell me they'd like it if I settled down with someone before 30 because after that apparently you get kinda old and no one wants you anymore...lol, not my thoughts....just what people say.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #34 on: October 14, 2011, 01:29:20 AM »
After reading an experience from someone here, my biggest fear has become loose touch with reality and become crazy, or do crazy stuff. Or maybe just become a bitter bitch. I am afraid I might have it in me.

Me too.  Like becoming the weird cat lady, that everyone talks about because she does crazy stuff and lives like a hermit.   :rolleyes:
“Many homicidal lunatics are very quiet, unassuming people. Delightful fellows.”  Agatha Christie

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #35 on: October 14, 2011, 04:29:54 AM »
I'm going to say that no one coming to my funeral does bother me. Not that I'd care at the time since I'd be dead, but mainly it bothers me for what it means. I want to have a positive effect on peoples lives, who will care if I die. If no one shows up then that didn't happen. :/

My biggest fears mainly are much like Katrina's. Growing old and never making anything of myself. Not having any meaningful long-term employment, or maybe ending up homeless. And growing old and not having a family to circle around you like everyone else. I may be a loner, but I'm not an extreme one. I want a few people like close family around me, and also probably a few close friends too.
Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going to was never there, and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it. Where is there a place for you to be? No place... Nothing outside you can give you any place... In yourself right now is all the place you've got.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #36 on: October 14, 2011, 06:14:47 AM »
No ones wants to fade away in obscurity I guess. Like, they want to know that they've left a mark on the world before they leave it, smeared across the front of a bus. Or bitten by a frothing chimp at a safari park. Nasty. You could get around by having a big memorial, like a huge tombstone towering over the landscape. Have your name in big letters, face all carved into the living rock, like those dead kings on the mountain in America. No-one gonna forget who Groucho, Zippo, Harpo and Chico are
Good to have a few faces around though innit? I got a few folks that I drop in on from time to time. Can't do it all the time though, they do my nut in a little bit

Faaip De Oiad

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #37 on: October 14, 2011, 07:49:50 AM »
there's a song I listen to, it's a bit sad, I'm going to post it at the end of this reply.
every time I listen to this song, I get thinking about my "biggest fear about being a loner"

anyway, my biggest fear about being a loner is
firstly; the possibility of dying alone
and secondly; imagining what my funeral will be like.
the only person I can think of who will be there is my niece because I don't have any friends or anything IRL.
I know, it could be worse and it's pretty lame but this is what gets my nerves going.
it makes me sad :uuu:




 
 
...and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not.

kenny1984

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #38 on: October 14, 2011, 12:07:44 PM »
That I won't experience everything that life has to offer.

Seraphic Sweetie

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #39 on: October 15, 2011, 04:54:06 AM »
Being alone for the rest of your life.

Katrina

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2011, 05:12:27 AM »
I'm going to say that no one coming to my funeral does bother me. Not that I'd care at the time since I'd be dead, but mainly it bothers me for what it means. I want to have a positive effect on peoples lives, who will care if I die. If no one shows up then that didn't happen. :/

Yea, its not really the humiliation of no one showing up but more the meaning of it! :-( I think having a positive effect on people's live is definitely important, even if its just raising your own kids. Not participating in this whole circle of life thing and just dying single and childless is rather depressing.

My dad has a bachelor friend whom he has known since his school days, the guy is like 52 right now, he inherited a lot of money from his family so basically he hasn't ever really had to work in life. Studied humanities at college for fun and then just chilled during his youth and never settled with any of the girls he dated. He pretends to be happy in front of everyone but my dad told us that he confided in some friends one day and said that he sort of regrets not having a family at this point, plus he really won't marry someone now since he is afraid of gold diggers and all (lol). He lives in a huge house all by himself which looks haunted and uncared for...my dad says its a depressing place to visit since its so empty and not maintained like it would be if more people lived there. The thing is this guy was not even a loner...and even he ended up like that. Well, at least he has money and in some ways..a pretty good life, all he does is travel and rest...hahaa. Ok ,there's my little story of what its like to be a single old (but rich) guy.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #41 on: October 15, 2011, 02:26:49 PM »
Yea, its not really the humiliation of no one showing up but more the meaning of it!

This doesn't only apply to the long term and to funerals. I usually don't care about people or what they think of me, but when I was younger and actually had a little group of people that couldn't be called friends but with whom I used to hang out often, I tried to do a little celebration for my birthday, and it was so depressing to see that just 2 or 3 people would come. It's not the fact that they wouldn't come or decline my invitation, the problem is that it means that I was nothing to them, I didn't really touch them. And I usually wouldn't care about that either, but when it comes to those "crucial" moments in your life when those around you publicly testify how much they value you, the comparation with what others get makes it sting. Anyway, they say that you harvest what you have sown, so I don't really have any reason to complain. But sitl. It would be nice to be able to change that, to touch people and leave something good behind.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #42 on: November 16, 2011, 12:40:15 PM »
Dying alone is the most popular answer when you ask most. That is definitely true for me, but even more so, I don't want to leave this earth without ever truly enjoying life the way I know I can. I also have a daughter and I don't want to fail her when it comes to dealing with people in the world because to tell you the truth, I don't have it down. I am socially awkward and what could I possibly teach my little girl? I want motherhood to be a success before I leave, but this loner thing has to get healthy before that can happen. I do want to be married as well. Never been. I am 25 and the last woman I was with (at the time girl) was when I was 15 and that is a long ass drought that I need to soak in water, badly. Haven't made love to a woman yet and that has depressed me for a long time. I can't even get my foot into the door of relationship. People and I just think differently and I don't understand people, especially in my generation. I'm alien to them.

ilovepitou

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #43 on: November 16, 2011, 01:23:30 PM »
Soul, did you adopt your daughter?

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #44 on: November 18, 2011, 01:45:57 AM »
Quote
I'm alien to them.

Some of us came to life into the wrong planet it would seem.

Fat Loser

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #45 on: November 18, 2011, 03:28:09 AM »
^^^
Yeah, I was the wrong time, a few too many centuries late. :tongue:
[

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #46 on: November 18, 2011, 03:59:03 AM »
^^^
Yeah, I was the wrong time, a few too many centuries late. :tongue:
This reminded me of Motorcycle Boy from that one SE Hinton novel.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #47 on: November 18, 2011, 05:11:20 AM »
Being used as currency in a prison cell.
Bend over so I can hide my drugs and my shank.

Nothing really... All my fears are completely unrelated to being a loner.
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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #48 on: November 18, 2011, 11:29:54 AM »
In response to ilovepitou's question, no I didn't. That's what confuses a lot of people when they meet me. You'll have to excuse me when I say that I don't like to discuss her conception. I'm not in a healthy place with that reality, but I'm trying. Hated the situation but loved the outcome:)

Fat Loser

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #49 on: November 18, 2011, 05:16:48 PM »
^^^ ^^^ ^^^
I watched my daughter being born... it was the single most painful thing I have ever seen. And I'm a horror fan. But the result was awesome, I miss her, and love her always. Know this wasn't what you mean't by "You'll have to excuse me when I say that I don't like to discuss her conception. I'm not in a healthy place with that reality," but seeing the post reminded me of the experience.
[

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #50 on: November 26, 2014, 03:27:32 AM »
My biggest fear is becoming way too comfortable with being a loner (at least, out in public). I tend to be...a lot more loose about things when I'm alone and I lose my manners about things. I've got kinda gross being a loner, I pick my noes and fart loudly (ugh, can't believe I'm admitting that >_< lol). It doesn't help that I have IBS and get gassy every now & then. I have to remind myself when I'm in a public place to behave accordingly, because if I don't.... :-( I've found that I'm not even that alone when I'm in an isolated room in a building! :O Ugh.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #51 on: November 26, 2014, 04:05:32 AM »
My biggest fear is becoming way too comfortable with being a loner (at least, out in public). I tend to be...a lot more loose about things when I'm alone and I lose my manners about things. I've got kinda gross being a loner, I pick my noes and fart loudly (ugh, can't believe I'm admitting that >_< lol). It doesn't help that I have IBS and get gassy every now & then. I have to remind myself when I'm in a public place to behave accordingly, because if I don't.... :-( I've found that I'm not even that alone when I'm in an isolated room in a building! :O Ugh.

Haha I know EXACTLY what you mean. I am in college now and I have to live with a roommate. Fortunately, she is cool and I can fart, burp and even be naked around her to. But on a note, I just happened to be lucky, especially since I chose to have a random roommate. I am actually the same way so you are not alone.

A fear I have about being a loner is regret... I guess... I don't want to reach my mid-life and suddenly think "Wow, maybe I should have talked to more people... Maybe I should have done this or that" because what makes it worst is that I can't go back to change any of it and it will make me unhappy. Do I worry about not finding love? Well, I am only 18. I have never had a boyfriend before. But whoever my soul-mate will be, will love me for me. I am in no rush to date. The man will come my way when the time comes so I am not really worried about that.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #52 on: February 09, 2015, 06:16:12 PM »
Well good job Idonehaveusername, always be postive. There's still a long way to run and many chances will come.

My fear of being a loner is to not be able to show my affection for the people around me who show their love for me, especially my family. I'm currently in a state where I can't even express my emotion, because my target not yet fulfilled, and it affects my attitude towards people. It has been years but it doesn't seem come to an end. This has been a complexity of mine that when I'm focusing on something then I would be less concern with others though I actually care them. One of my friend even said that I'm a kind-hearted person with a poker face. I hope my wish comes true soon so then I would be able to express myself again like I used to be. :lipsrsealed:
-- There is an antidote for every illness, we only have to ask it --

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #53 on: July 19, 2015, 05:16:16 AM »
I'm a little paranoid, admittedly regarding this...I have this fear that a bunch of big extroverts are gonna gang up on me and beat the shit out of me for not reciprocating their extrovertness...I already get a weird looks and name calling (weird, mostly).  Maybe in an Orwellian future, loners will be put in camps and forced to not be alone...

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #54 on: July 23, 2015, 11:14:33 AM »
I'm a little paranoid, admittedly regarding this...I have this fear that a bunch of big extroverts are gonna gang up on me and beat the shit out of me for not reciprocating their extrovertness...I already get a weird looks and name calling (weird, mostly).  Maybe in an Orwellian future, loners will be put in camps and forced to not be alone...

Yeah that gets on my nerves too. And when they all look over and say "That girl is quiet. Why is she so quiet? Maybe we should talk to her? No she is smurfing weird. I try NOT to sit near her." I've heard it all. It's just a matter of finding people that accept and understand you. When I find a man, he must be accepting and understanding of my introverted nature.

drywall jesus

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #55 on: October 25, 2017, 12:11:39 AM »
I liked a lot of what people said in this cuz I think about this stuff everday.  I wake up with the first thought I have being "really? No friends/social life.  That scares me, when it's hard to imagine a happy social life.

Others are: Going crazy, not being interesting enough, awkwardness in conversation, being demonized for "isolating", giving to little of a shit, coyotes, mountain lions, bears, the end days fantasies, and public humiliation.

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #56 on: November 24, 2017, 01:31:31 AM »
Biggest fear is this is the way it will be until I die, freaks me out a bit.

I have most certainly achieved a lot & walked through what seemed like the flames of hell and did it alone for the most part for like 5 years and now I am still alone and I don't want to be but am not even sure how the heck to make new friends at 51, seems to be pretty hard for some reason.

I like to think I am a pretty easy guy to be around (I hope I am) I try to be.
I had to go through what I went through alone because it took everything I had to make it and to survive.

I really didn't have the best people around me anyway if I did they'd still be around and would of understood what I was going through.

So yea the thought I am going to be alone until I die scares me and saddens me, not all the time but occasionally it does really bring me down but usually it's just a thought of sadness & concern as well as a bit embarrassing.

I do try to put myself out there I think the problem is I am pretty much only doing it on this computer and not getting out there physically, I guess I am not sure where to go or what to do?

Being on here and typing this message is another online attempt in hopes to find like minded people who we connect & can kind of support one another with the understanding we are tired of being alone.

This is not desperation it's just the simple fact some people get swallowed up by life's problems, time flashes by and next thing we know we have drifted on to this deserted island of loneliness and we are several years older with pretty much no one around, no one we are on the same page with anyway.

Anyway Happy Thanksgiving & good luck to fellow loners...........................
Screw this place, makes me feel worse!

I am trying to delete this account but can't for some reason?
It asks for password but will not accept my password?

If anyone that is in control of this site like a moderator please delete my account, get me the hell out of here.......

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #57 on: November 26, 2017, 11:19:45 AM »
Welcome pauly.

Believe it or not I read your long, long intro.  (I almost gave up a few times, but persevered.)

Anyway, this is just to say hello.  I may comment on your post in the next few days.  Right now, my nightly tension headache's kicking in, so thinking isn't really possible, unless I want to risk an aneurysm.

Post Merge: November 27, 2017, 07:01:00 AM
I have a younger brother I'm bonded to and I do have my family---siblings, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces....so I'm not really afraid at this point in my life of being totally alone.

I have no shame in being a loner.  I do try to find comrades and activity partners, but not with desperation.  If I can't find somebody I can relate to enough, I'd rather be alone.

I think since I've joined this forum I've learned a lot about myself and have made some progress in self-acceptance.  I am what I am.  I believe there are areas where I can improve my life, but it will be on my terms, according my values.

I do think about family members dying, but that's not just a fear loners have, I'd think it's everyone.  But for a schizoid like me, there's an extra dimension of anxiety. 

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Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #58 on: January 02, 2018, 08:13:15 PM »
I used to be worried free, now i see my mom is getting old, my dad starts coughing a lot, i fear id be full of regrets if oneday theyre gone without grandkids as successor. If my sister still hasnt married til she's 35, i think id better find a dude just to get me pregnant.
I <3 Loners-Club.com

1josephjohn

Re: What are your biggest fears about being a loner?
« Reply #59 on: January 14, 2018, 06:36:57 AM »
No fears of being alone at all. I wish NOBODY at all would come to my funeral... but I now those fake people will show up crying like we cared about each other PFFFFS.
I am  a loner due to the drug epidemic.