Author Topic: What makes you want to talk with people? This excludes talking out of obligation  (Read 256 times)

randomamazingperson

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How do you get over the fear of getting hurt after opening up? I automatically think about the future pain that can occur when a person I start caring about doesn't want to continue working on building a friendship. You can list all the pleasures of connecting with someone, but it doesn't persuade me to let my guard down and feel comfortable talking with others. What is the mindset of people who are outgoing and enjoy sharing about themselves?
Long lasting happiness is created from within--accepting yourself as you are, not needing to change or do anything; loving, understanding, listening to, & being kind & compassionate to yourself; & knowing that you aren't damaged, defective, incomplete, lacking, or missing something, & you're normal.

Mystic Cow

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I don't know your past. But works for me and many others is do and don't think. Even if you think what you're saying is stupid or pointless, the goal is to move the conversation along. Saying literally anything usually does this.  As for opening up, that's a whole other cookie. The reason why I can't sometimes open up is because of trauma. That kind of stuff doesn't heal nicely usually.

Sil Ver Quin

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I wish i had the answer, i cant open up at all unless to strangers online. My sister's an opposite of myself, im 'stiff', while she's relaxed and natural around people. If i try to see things her way, from her point of view, she's outgoing because she's very shallow, she values herself and others from outer appearance, she's happy when she feels pretty, she's also happy around people who are nice to her especially if theyre beautiful. She doesnt understand the joy of mind refreshing by walking around the botanical park, the joy of sitting by a calm river watching old japanese couple catching fish.. simple things like that.

Sure she likes beaches and waterfalls, but only with her friends around. She likes yokohama's harbor, because it's like scene in some japanese dorama she imagine being the character in it.
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