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Author Topic: I'm Bummed Out  (Read 520 times)

Book

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I'm Bummed Out
« on: May 20, 2019, 11:21:37 PM »
Last Sunday I discussed the Electoral College with a very old friend. She got very angry with me when I explained how the Electoral College works and why it's a good thing for the American voter.

This Sunday I called her, as I always do, and she is still pissed at me. I'm upset about it. Because I'm so reclusive, she is my only friend.

I'm having some difficulty with this because I feel it as rejection. I've known her a looong time and her reaction has been eating away at me since yesterday.

I could use some input from my official Loner family.

Thanks in advance to those who take the time to listen to me.

Book  :sad:
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

randomamazingperson

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2019, 12:34:17 AM »
Last Sunday I discussed the Electoral College with a very old friend. She got very angry with me when I explained how the Electoral College works and why it's a good thing for the American voter.

This Sunday I called her, as I always do, and she is still pissed at me. I'm upset about it. Because I'm so reclusive, she is my only friend.

I'm having some difficulty with this because I feel it as rejection. I've known her a looong time and her reaction has been eating away at me since yesterday.

I could use some input from my official Loner family.

Thanks in advance to those who take the time to listen to me.

Book  :sad:

That sucks. It hurts to lose your only friend. I wouldn't know what to do except be sad about it
Long lasting happiness is created from within--accepting yourself as you are, not needing to change or do anything; loving, understanding, listening to, & being kind & compassionate to yourself; & knowing that you aren't damaged, defective, incomplete, lacking, or missing something, & you're normal.

Book

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2019, 04:30:35 AM »
That sucks. It hurts to lose your only friend. I wouldn't know what to do except be sad about it

I'll just wait for her to cool off and call me. Nothing else I can do. I've never run into someone who stays pissed off for a week over trivial crap.

My ex got mad from time to time, but after an hour he came around and we made up.

This week-long anger, to me, is a sign of a deeper problem. I don't want to be a part of that, so I've set new boundaries.

Thanks for your reply. Not sure if I've lost her as a friend yet but, honestly, if I've "lost" her I'm okay with that.

I worked a job that was three decades of dealing with serious mental illness. I don't need that in my private life.
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

jeremiah

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2019, 11:07:47 PM »
My younger brother is my best friend and in the past we've had some pretty intense rows over Buddhism and philosophy.  He's a Heidegger aficionado and Heidegger and a lot of other "postmodern phenomenologists", to say the least, kind of irk me.  But in the past 5 or 10 years we've sort of decided to avoid the subject, or if it comes up, we exercise more mutual tact than we used to.

His triglycerides and bad cholestoral is off the charts and I'd like him to try moving toward a better diet, but I don't want to sound like a preach know-it-all, so I'm being careful if and how I broach it.  He could lose some weight too, and that's a touchy topic to bring up.

With most other people, more and more, I avoid anything controversial, but I guess now and then I "break" and blurt out what's on my mind.

It's hard to walk that fine line between tact and honesty. 

Book

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2019, 01:58:39 AM »
My younger brother is my best friend and in the past we've had some pretty intense rows over Buddhism and philosophy.  He's a Heidegger aficionado and Heidegger and a lot of other "postmodern phenomenologists", to say the least, kind of irk me.  But in the past 5 or 10 years we've sort of decided to avoid the subject, or if it comes up, we exercise more mutual tact than we used to.

His triglycerides and bad cholesterol is off the charts and I'd like him to try moving toward a better diet, but I don't want to sound like a preach know-it-all, so I'm being careful if and how I broach it.  He could lose some weight too, and that's a touchy topic to bring up.

With most other people, more and more, I avoid anything controversial, but I guess now and then I "break" and blurt out what's on my mind.

It's hard to walk that fine line between tact and honesty.

Boy, I understand "blurting out" the truth. What are you going to do with people who don't understand the facts? Shouldn't the truth prevail?

It used to be that the educational system was simpler and more complex at the same time. Simpler in that the system relied on books, pens, and paper, but by high school students were actually at the college level, which was the complexity. They were extremely well-rounded.

Kids these days get into college without being able to speak in complete sentences and knowing only basic math. They seem very proud of not reading books and having a party reputation.

Just realized I levitated up onto my soapbox. This is a discussion I'm willing to have if other members are inclined. Hey, Jeremiah, Citrus, Random, Sil, Tumble, Sunlight, Anubis.  :wink:

Back up on my soapbox, classrooms of the past taught the facts and let students develop their own intellectual paths. Classrooms of today focus on disseminating a political message and manipulate young minds into embracing a particular ideology.

Watch the videos of Jay Leno, and others, on YouTube. They interview people on Venice Beach and elsewhere, asking simple questions that a kid in elementary school should know, but they don't and they're actually proud of being stupid.

I am embarrassed for my country. These are the people who will run our country some day, either in government or in the service and production industries.

That. Is. Scary.
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

tumbleweed

Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2019, 06:16:00 AM »
Book,  One of the things that keeps bugging me even though I tell myself to not let it do that because it's pointless: the very loose use of the language now.  Even in books, the punctuation I was taught is not used "properly"--or at least as I was taught (if everybody's doing it, maybe it's "proper" now.) Next time I see an instance, I'll copy it here, unless it bugs the heck out of you too and you'd rather I didn't.  Even public radio--I heard something like "he had went" just a few days ago.  And the internet, arrgghhhh!  But the books hurt the worst.

Anyway, on to your original subject, the last time I got really mad at someone was when the time shifted, a while back, and this guy who tends to lecture was trying to explain it to me--BACKWARD.  He's one of those fellows who thinks he knows everything and likes to lecture anyone within earshot.  But he was wrong, wrong, wrong!  I tried to explain it to him and he kept going back to the beginning of his lecture and saying, "Okay, the sun didn't change...are you with me so far?"  Anyway, I got really steamed and walked away a minute, then came back and said that it wasn't worth arguing about and I'd rather we just dropped it, but he kept on and on, and I finally politely suggested he shut up, and he did.

He wasn't a good friend, just an acquaintance who is sometimes annoying, but as soon as he shut up I was over it.  I hope your actual friend can do that soon.  I know there's a lot of dissimilarity in these two cases, but they are somewhat alike in spirit. If she can't let it go, either she's not a friend, or yeah, I'd say there's something wrong with her.

In case it helps, I'll reveal that I don't have ANY friends, just acquaintances, and so far I'm okay. 

Book

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2019, 03:29:18 AM »
Tumbleweed,

I hear you. I hear you.

Like I posted, I'm just going to wait until she calls me. I'm done initiating if someone is going to treat me like shit for having my own opinion about things, and for knowing the facts instead of playing the knee-jerk, pissed-off game.

I have a feeling my "friend" is going to devolve to acquaintance.

I'm a grammar Nazi, but only with myself. I'm old enough to realize that you can't control other people, and why would you want to (rhetorical question). It's exhausting.

I know it's frustrating to see the lack of effort on the part of people who should know better. These days I just assume nine out of ten people I run into are stupid.
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

Sil Ver Quin

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2019, 11:00:19 AM »
Last Sunday I discussed the Electoral College with a very old friend. She got very angry with me when I explained how the Electoral College works and why it's a good thing for the American voter.

This Sunday I called her, as I always do, and she is still pissed at me. I'm upset about it. Because I'm so reclusive, she is my only friend.

I'm having some difficulty with this because I feel it as rejection. I've known her a looong time and her reaction has been eating away at me since yesterday.

I could use some input from my official Loner family.

Thanks in advance to those who take the time to listen to me.

Book  :sad:


Sounds like me and my mom when we had massive tension in the house over political difference, after a week or so we cooled off, without anyone saying sorry, or even spoke about it. I guess we got bored, & since we live in the same house social interaction's inevitable. Started from simple thing such as sharing food i cooked, watching tv together, watching the cat playing, suddenly the tension's over, but after that i try not to talk about any sensitive subject on which strongly divide our opinion.

Maybe you can send her gift as a token of truce if words dont work anymore..
I <3 Loners-Club.com

Book

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2019, 05:48:32 PM »
Hey Sil,

Yes, all is resolved. She called and explained and smoothed things over.

I hate that I allow other people to control how I feel. I'm old enough to know better.

Sometimes I wish I was Spock, emotionless. I think it would be easier to deal with life that way.
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

randomamazingperson

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2019, 10:08:57 PM »
Hey Sil,

Yes, all is resolved. She called and explained and smoothed things over.

I hate that I allow other people to control how I feel. I'm old enough to know better.

Sometimes I wish I was Spock, emotionless. I think it would be easier to deal with life that way.

Same about the emotionless part.
Long lasting happiness is created from within--accepting yourself as you are, not needing to change or do anything; loving, understanding, listening to, & being kind & compassionate to yourself; & knowing that you aren't damaged, defective, incomplete, lacking, or missing something, & you're normal.

Book

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2019, 04:09:27 AM »
Same about the emotionless part.

Well then, welcome fellow Vulcan. 🖖
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

randomamazingperson

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #11 on: June 01, 2019, 08:07:06 AM »
Well then, welcome fellow Vulcan. 🖖

I've heard of Star Trek, but I never took an interest in it.
Long lasting happiness is created from within--accepting yourself as you are, not needing to change or do anything; loving, understanding, listening to, & being kind & compassionate to yourself; & knowing that you aren't damaged, defective, incomplete, lacking, or missing something, & you're normal.

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2019, 07:02:10 AM »
hey! finally checking up on lc again, hope you're ok! i'm always available if you need to chat, i should make a "diary" post at some point, this group helps me when i need it most <3

sunlight_hope

Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2019, 05:47:28 PM »
There are truths that most people donít want to hear.
Being gently honest is a real art.


tumbleweed

Emotionlessness
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2019, 02:52:04 AM »

Sometimes I wish I was Spock, emotionless. I think it would be easier to deal with life that way.

I erased some stuff here.


Book

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Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2019, 01:52:25 AM »
Tumble,

My brain is whirring 24/7/365. I have rarely been able to shut it down. Emotionlessness helps me to relax and bring all the crap to a grinding halt.

I journal, but that only does so much. I once submitted a short story based on a nightmare to "Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine". They pink-slipped it and told me it was too horrifying for their publication.

In my head, I must be a monster. What else would birth such vile stories . . .

I have no desire to do violence for any reason, but my brain is obviously very creative of its own initiative.

The process is exhausting.

Book /read
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History . . . is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

tumbleweed

Re: I'm Bummed Out
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2019, 06:35:25 AM »
Book, I see where you're coming from. 

(I removed my previous post because I've become uncomfortable with the large amount of personal stuff I've posted on here lately.)

Great if you can manage some rest.