Author Topic: depersonalisation  (Read 185 times)

Kipperbang12

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depersonalisation
« on: August 17, 2018, 01:33:03 AM »
i think i've fallen victim to depersonalisation recently... its very uncomfortable and makes doing anything an impossible task. has anyone got any advice?

jeremiah

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Re: depersonalisation
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2018, 06:28:34 AM »
When I was about 16 and 20 I had an experience that I didn't really have the words for.   These were very distinct experiences and both were in motion in vehicles.  They were very sudden and unexpected, almost startling.  The first was on a school bus, on a dark morning, while I was thinking something like----"I am on a bus.  This bus is on a road.  The road is on a planet.  The planet is in a solar system.   The solar system....."

I called it in my journal by the clumsy phrase,  the "conscious realization of the ultimate non-conscious".  Although I didn't use the word back then, I took it as more or less a transcendant experience.  I wasn't disturbed by it.   I've pondered it's significance for years and years, and at this point, I'm not sure what to think of it.  It's not painful or awkward or embarrasing or anything, but it's a somewhat personal experience that I'm very hesitant to rush to describe or explain.  The two instances are very significant moments in my life, that influence my whole worldview.  But maybe it's not what people are talking about who experience depersonalization.

Back in my early or mid 30's I started getting panic attacks.  Recently, reading and listening to the comments of others on the Net, I suspect that these panic attacks were closely linked to "de-realization".  That is, some kind of de-realization was the first phase of the attack.  I got my attacks mostly on the freeway, and they always involved the sensations of being about to have a heart attack, suffocate, pass out, suddenly die, or at best, lose my mind.  Most of them were on the freeway, but they were also in parking lots and stores.  Parking lots felt like I once described as "huge floatation tanks", and I was slowly "disappearing" into them as I walked through them.  It's like there infinte size was absorbing me.  Recently, though much less often now, and with less severity, I get them while walking across bridges, and the last step or two of escalators.  It's very vague what triggers them.

Just knowing that my mind (or brain???) is playing games with me, and having a vocabulary for the process, keeps their intensity at a minimum.  So though I seem to still be prone to them, I think I've got them well under control now.

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Re: depersonalisation
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2018, 08:31:02 PM »
Depersonalization is associated to personality disorder and partially described as "feeling like you are observing yourself from outside your body or like being in a dream". I've often been in this state, but without panicking or feeling uncmfortable with myself. Uneasiness has always come from feeling different from the others, who seemed and seem disapprove of this "unhealthy" condition, that makes you desire idleness, emptiness and silence ("daydreaming"). I'm sure there are several kinds of "depersonlization", but when you practice some forms of meditation, this is exactly what you are aiming at: observing your body from outside, being at the same time aware of its existence as a part of a bigger reality. Think of some knds of yoga and zen meditation, based on breathing. The ideal wise man of some oriental philosophies would easily be considered a psychopath by   some western psychiatrists. (I'm referring to personal experiences of meditation; I also spent some days at a zen monastery, meditating with the monks for 6 hours per day).

tumbleweed

Re: depersonalisation
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2019, 12:38:41 AM »
I've had experiences that are sort of like depersonalization. 

When I looked around the internet, the advice I remember was:

1. Wait.  It will go away in time (did it, Kipperbang?)


2. Get more involved in doing things, and much less in thinking about it, and it'll bring you back to reality.