Author Topic: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic  (Read 207 times)

randomamazingperson

  • Adult Filter OFF
  • LC Regular
  • *
  • Posts: 223
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To randomamazingperson
  • Karma: 15
  • A/S/L : 30/Female/California, USA
  • I am : Cool Loner
  • Loner Personality: INTJ (The Scientist)
  • My loner philosophy : I can have fun on my own, create happiness without others, and still welcome company without needing it.
Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« on: February 08, 2014, 09:58:40 PM »
This is advice, not a question. This is my opinion and insight on perfectionism. I discovered that when we make mistakes or do something wrong, we should not dwell on the past, but plan for the future. Do not berate yourself. Understand what you did wrong, learn how to do it right, and next time do it the right way. Mistakes alert you to what is wrong. Bad behavior can only be judged. The core of people cannot be judged. People are fallible, but they are of worth. Acknowledge nicely that you did something unacceptable, move on, and plan what to do next. Talk to yourself compassionately, sympathetically, and encouragingly. That way you won't hate yourself for making a mistake and for going against yourself if you argue with yourself.
Long lasting happiness is created from within--accepting yourself as you are, not needing to change or do anything; loving, understanding, listening to, & being kind & compassionate to yourself; & knowing that you aren't damaged, defective, incomplete, lacking, or missing something, & you're normal.

carbon

  • LC Regular
  • ***
  • Posts: 566
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To carbon
  • Karma: 86
  • scaffolding kung fu
  • A/S/L : 47 m shaqratomatillo
  • I am : Just a Loner by Choice
  • Loner Personality: INFP (The Idealist)
Re: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2014, 05:10:55 AM »

"go forward"    -been meaning to post that somewhere, and here seems to be the place. .. Christopher Reeves.  Best advice in the world, and of course, really difficult to follow.

headoo

  • Adult Filter OFF
  • Lurking Crowd
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To headoo
  • Karma: 0
  • Jaded, disenchanted, loner forever
  • A/S/L : 42/f/ohio
  • I am : Social Misfit Loner
  • Loner Personality: None of the above.
Re: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2014, 08:10:20 AM »
I completely agree - life is hard enough without us being unkind to ourselves.  It's not like you're ever going to please everybody anyway.  None of them deserve perfection anyway, hell with it!
Sometimes you're never more alone than when you're with somebody else.

Kilgore Trout

Re: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2014, 06:26:23 PM »
Perfectionism, the way I see it, is only harmful if one fails to take into consideration the practical limitations of bringing an abstract ideal into concrete form. If you accept that things will pretty much always fall short of perfection and try to estimate how exactly so (not always possible), it will be easier to avoid frustration and regret. For instance, I might dream of one day becoming a succesful writer, but I have to accept that there are many factors involved in that which are completely oustide of my control (including the fact that I might not be talented enough). However, if writing is important to me, then let's just keep earnestly at it and not hold on to any delusions of fame and power.

What I've personally experienced is that what is often called "perfectionism" is really just having some reasonable standards and trying to live up to them. I guess the opposite of "perfectionism" then would be "half-assed-ism", which too many people seem to be very adept at.
"Does your reputation bother you? But look at how soon we’re all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of all those applauding hands."
Marcus Aurelius

carbon

  • LC Regular
  • ***
  • Posts: 566
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To carbon
  • Karma: 86
  • scaffolding kung fu
  • A/S/L : 47 m shaqratomatillo
  • I am : Just a Loner by Choice
  • Loner Personality: INFP (The Idealist)
Re: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2014, 03:29:28 AM »

^ well said

Reg

Re: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2014, 09:09:04 AM »
However, if writing is important to me, then let's just keep earnestly at it and not hold on to any delusions of fame and power.

The attitude expressed here really resonates with me. There are some things I pursue in my life that really matter to me. I find that I have periods in which I want to race ahead and take big steps toward my goals. But, when I get this way I try to remind myself that it is the process of working and doing moment-by-moment that is really most rewarding, and its what I will spend most of my time doing.

Roaddriverz

Re: Advice on How Not to Be a Perfectionistic
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2018, 12:19:24 AM »
I completely agree - life is hard enough without us being unkind to ourselves.  It's not like you're ever going to please everybody anyway.  None of them deserve perfection anyway, hell with it!

This made me laugh and smile. You're right. :azn: /idea /lol