login

Author Topic: Hilarious School Exam Answers  (Read 1341 times)

WhiteTiger

  • Guest
Hilarious School Exam Answers
« on: June 22, 2010, 01:00:16 PM »
The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Boss

  • Drifter
  • **
  • Posts: 214
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To Boss
  • Karma: 4
  • A/S/L : 19/F/Australia
  • I am : Blonde Loner
  • My loner philosophy : If you want to cure loneliness get used to being alone
Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2010, 02:24:36 PM »
These are hilarious. I especially the love the 4th and the 11th one  rofl

robertretro

Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2011, 12:09:21 AM »
Whenever I eat Spagettios, I only have one bowel: O

FarmGiraffe

  • Guest
Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2011, 02:56:52 PM »
Man I remember being interviewed by college students as a high school student. Boy I  gave some dopey answers. they must have deleted the footage.

Noether

  • Adult Filter OFF
  • LC Regular
  • *
  • Posts: 1347
  • 5000 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To Noether
  • Karma: 351
  • A/S/L : 29/F/ The shadowlands beyond Asshai
  • I am : Loner by nature
  • Loner Personality: None of the above.
Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2011, 04:44:56 PM »
Some of those are quite funny

LoneFox

  • Drifter
  • **
  • Posts: 37
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To LoneFox
  • Karma: 0
  • If I never loved I never would have cried!
  • A/S/L : 23/Female/Canada
  • I am : Eccentric Loner
  • Loner Personality: INTP (The Thinker)
  • My loner philosophy : If I never loved, I never would have cried. ~Paul Simon
  • Status Update: Just thinking about finishing my profile...
Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2014, 07:37:52 AM »
4,10,13,14,16 and 19 are too funny!  :grin:
Lucid dreaming is another way to talk to myself...

emussel

  • Guest
Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2014, 10:45:55 PM »
Some of these are hilarious. The answer to number two is the Aristotelian explanation popular a very long time ago.

Man I resented school but not as much as some of these people.

LeTheRightOneIn

  • Drifter
  • **
  • Posts: 232
  • 0 credits
  • View Inventory
  • Send Money To LeTheRightOneIn
  • Karma: 36
  • "Never change for anyone."
  • A/S/L : 34/Female/Florida
  • I am : Romantic Loner
  • Loner Personality: INFJ (The Protector)
  • My loner philosophy : Not sure.
  • Status Update: Concentrating on Healing myself.
Re: Hilarious School Exam Answers
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2014, 02:43:30 AM »
Haha! Those make me crack up!  :grin: